We know losing weight is difficult, and that different things work for different people. However, there are some diets which really take the biscuit (not literally, of course. Biscuits wouldn’t be allowed in any of these).
1. The Tapeworm Diet
If the idea of ingesting a baby tapeworm that can grow to a length of over 10 METRES isn’t off-putting enough, Dr. Michael Mosely recently experimented with the diet himself and found that he actually put ON weight (we’d rather you than us, Doctor!). So you sustain a parasite bigger than the world’s biggest snake, and you don’t even lose weight! Where do I sign up?
2. The ‘Sleeping Beauty’ Diet
Supposedly Elvis Presley was a fan of this diet, where you sedate yourself for several days whilst you sleep off the pounds. Whilst it may be an effective form of weight-loss, it makes the list because a) I’d prefer not to get addicted to heavy sedation medicine (like Presley) and b) I quite like living and not being asleep the whole time, thank you very much.
3. The Purple Diet
Everything you eat has to be purple. Think about that for a second. How many purple foods can you name? I can think of eggplant (aubergine) and red cabbage, and that’s about it. Frankly, that’s a little limited. I also think I can see a potential loophole to this diet masterplan…
4. The ‘Cabbage Soup’ Diet
You know what isn’t the nicest thing to wake up to in the morning? Cabbage Soup. You know what makes it even worse? The thought that you’ll be having cabbage soup again for lunch, and again for dinner. And the next day. And the day after. I honestly can’t even understand how this is even a thing.
5. The Dukan Diet
There are worse diets out there than the Dukan diet, I know. However, it makes the list because of its mind-boggling complexity. I honestly feel like I would need to sit down with a wall-chart, colourful post-its and a giant Encyclopaedia of Food for a long afternoon to even make a start. Don’t these people understand that we have better things to do other than making sure we get our 1.5 tablespoons of bran everyday?! I think I would probably have more success deciphering the Aztec calendar below than understanding the Dukan Diet.
Its diets like these that remind me why I love fasting as a sustainable, long-term Way of Eating, giving me control over what and when I eat. Oh, and the weight loss and long-term health benefits help too!
What are your least favourite diets? Tell us in the comments!
